As a single mom I have my daughter with me 50% of the year. This would have been less if I had chosen not to sell my home last year and move closer to where my daughter’s father lives. Where my daughter chose to go to high school. With that said, single mom’s need time to decompress and enjoy their time when their child is with their parent. Here are some ways to get out of mom mode and out of the four walls of your home:
Massage: Nothing says downtime like getting a massage and having your troubles rubbed away. Find a place near you, or, if you choose, further away to get out of your town and feel like you went on a little day trip. My next trip to the spa is going to include a hot stone massage. I’ve heard amazing things about them and cannot wait to try it out!
Girls Night Out: Whether you go out for Happy Hour after work, or you go out Friday night dancing. As mom’s, not just single mom’s, we tend to put our children first. (As it should be!) But we need to nourish our souls with our girlfriends. No one can do that quite like they can. They have either ‘been there, done that’ or they don’t have children and it’s easy to escape our ‘mom mentality’ and talk about our kids the whole time. Because face it, they may love your children, but that’s not why they want to go out. You can get the standard update on how your kiddo is doing, then you can go from proud mom to woman who is out to relax.
Manicure/Pedicures: What mom doesn’t like to be pampered? When I go for a manicure and pedicure, I do the spa treatment. Let them exfoliate my skin and let the aromatherapy scents surround me and lift my worries away.
Shopping Trip: You single mom’s out there will understand, I am on a tight budget unfortunately. But I love to go to stores to see what they have. I’ll just walk around a store, looking and trying clothes on, even if I know I can’t afford to buy it. But, I will admit there are times that I’ll break down and buy something to treat myself. I work for my money, so why can’t I enjoy buying myself something I think is pretty, or something that makes me feel pretty?
Solo Lunch Date: As a single parent, yes, we do get many days to eat alone. Alone being the key word. So, take yourself out on a date for lunch by yourself. If you don’t want to sit alone at a table, sit at the bar. You’re alone, but people are around you and you can at times join in on another persons conversation. Maybe meet new friends. You can also leave when you want to without having to wait for your friend to finish. You’re not at home, stuck in the same four walls, by yourself. We need that change in scenery.
Time with Friends: Who says you only have to hang out with your friends for a drink or a night of debauchery? Your friends are your life companions! They are with you through thick and thin. Take a time out and have a nice lunch or dinner date.
Road Trip to Nowhere: Hop in your car and drive. You don’t need a destination. When the kid is away, Single Mom’s are unsupervised! Hit the road and see where it takes you. I did that once, years ago. I ended up getting lost. This was before GPS and cellphones. I had a map and no clue where to even look to see where I was. I came across a road crew, they ended up telling me I was about three hours from my state. Ummmm, whoops. I had to find a gas station and call my mom collect to let her know I was heading home and how long it would take me. But, my head was cleared!
Community Events: Where I live, we have First Friday. The first Friday of every month, my town will close down the main road and residents come and have fun. The shops stay open later, so we can shop, food trucks come in, so we can get dinner and either sit on the benches, walk around as you eat, or go to our local wine cellar that allows you to eat food from outside. Some community events can also include Paint Nights, Bingo Nights, Live Music events, etc.
These are just some suggestions on how single mom’s can rejuvenate and come back to life refreshed. Most of these you will see that while you’re alone, your not alone. You have the opportunity to get out there and be around people, even if you don’t talk to them. Just because we’re parents, doesn’t mean we’re now people who can’t enjoy our non-parent time. I wish I had taken some of these suggestions to heart much earlier.
I’ve been divorced twelve years and pretty much sat at home waiting for my daughter to come home to me. I’m in a new town now, not knowing anyone and have reverted back to this. I had become very anti-social this past year and that isn’t me. Falling into a funk because I didn’t have that time away from my home, or out with my friends. Heck, other than my one sister who comes up to my place for me to color her hair, I’ve only had one friend come over to visit. THAT isn’t me at all. I am usually a social person. So, falling into this funk hasn’t been good for me and it’s time to change up my routine.
What ways have you found that rejuvenate your soul? How do you get through your week and still maintain a life that is not solely about your kids? Married folk can still respond. I’d love to hear your thoughts!