Flights of Fancy Mom

I'm a mom with dreams.  I want to live my life with no boundaries.  One day at a time.

Empty Nest Years are Coming to a House Near Me

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It has finally hit me.  My daughter is going into her sophomore year of high school.  I’m thinking ahead and quite a few things hit me!

  • She will have her license this time next year
  • We will be doing college tours in two years
  • She will graduate in less than three years.
  • She will be old enough to vote in the next election in four years

Once I let all that sink it, I realized one thing.  I’m getting old!  Nah… I mean I am, but, I don’t feel it. I sure as heck don’t act it! So, it got me thinking.  Once she’s done college in seven years. What the heck am I going to do with my life? I mean, the last eleven years since my divorce, I haven’t really give much thought to my empty nest years.

I can hear some of you now. Oh, just wait, she’ll be back. You won’t be able to get rid of her that easily! I assure you, I can! I don’t mean I’m going to push her out the door and call it a day. I mean, that kid is ready to move out on her own. She’d do it today if she could. She tells me that plenty of times, lol.  She plans to move to New York for a couple of years and then wants to move out to California. She wants to be a photographer and live in West Hollywood, or Los Angeles.  She’s been doing her research on rents and overall cost of living out there. She’s preparing herself.

So, with my daughter ready to move out.  Just hasn’t packed her stuff up yet, where does that leave me?  The mom who has devoted the last fifteen years to raising this child spawn of mine.

The answer to that is…. I HAVE NO IDEA…

I know what I want to do. I just have to figure out how to implement it. Get away from the guilt of, “Well, my family is here. I should stay.” And get to the mindset of, “This is my life and I need to do what makes me happy.” Like my daughter, I think my happiness is going to lie somewhere other than where I am now. Professionally and personally, I’m not quite where I want to be. I understand the difference between want and need. I’m at the stage in my life that I feel I deserve the WANT.

So, locations that I’m thinking of, are:

The first three are because I have friends in those locations. At least if I choose to move, I won’t be alone. I’ll have friends there and I can be as social as I like to be.

The next two? I like the idea of living a slower paced lifestyle. I want to live in a community that can give me that kind of lifestyle. Where everyone knows everyone else. I wouldn’t be friendless for long :). And a healthier lifestyle. I feel that these locations have plenty of things to do outside that would motivate me to get outside more. And if not?  The views alone could do that 🙂  Tennessee, I have family down there from my dad’s side that I would love to meet and get to know.

I’ve narrowed it down to living in those six states. I just have to figure out which one suits me better! So, I’m thinking it’s going to be research time and visiting time to see which area I fall in love with :).

Who else here has made decisions based on going into your Empty Nest years?  Heck, who here has moved on to a new location because they found something better?  Moved their life and their kids lives with them? I want to know who my wandering kindred spirits are!

21 Comments

  1. Alli Rutherford Smith

    My husband and I have entered our empty nest years. We’re not ready to relocate yet, but we are saving for a condo at the beach. North Myrtle Beach is only a couple of hours drive from our home and we would love a place for weekends and to eventually retire (that sounds so old!). All of your location choices sound awesome, but I’m partial to the south. 🙂

    Reply
  2. dana vento (@danavento)

    My daughter is a sophomore in college and I am already remodeling her room. When she comes back the adjustment is large and it is hard to re-emerge as the family that once was because the New ADULT prefers stuff the way she has been doing it. So, we are cleaning up, cleaning out and preparing for the next phase. The Empty Nest is more of a nest to fill with my own wants instead of being on call 24/7.

    Reply
  3. Amanda Love

    It’s kind of sad and scary at the same time. My eldest is off to college and my two sons are growing up too fast. Even my youngest is too. Where did the time go, right? I think it’s good to think about your future, it’s time to take care of you anyway!

    Reply
  4. Angelic Sinova (@SimplySinova)

    I think moving to a new location is such a fun and scary thing. If you do decided on the first few states, at least you’ll be loser to friends and that’s always awesome. Since graduating college two and a half years ago, it’s been so hard living so far from my friends.

    Reply
  5. Christopher Lewis

    I am kind of scared about empty nesting. It is a few years off but I know that I will miss having my girls around. I know it will be a transition, and I hope to make the transition well!

    Reply
  6. Pam Wattenbarger

    We are empty nesters now. My son got his first apartment and my daughter and her husband live in a town about 20 minutes away from us. I have been using my empty nest time to travel more.

    Reply
  7. Jaime Nicole

    My daughter is also going into her sophomore year of high school. It’s makes me sad to think about how fast time is going by.

    Reply
  8. dee

    I think its important for someone in their empty nest years to go out and re-discover themselves and pick up the things that they use to love.

    Reply
  9. jasminekeclipse

    What an exciting time for you to have so many choices of places to make your new home! And congrats on having such a strong-willed and independent daughter, that means you did your job! I’m in the process of moving up north (to Canada!) for work and for love. I wish you the very best in your decision and the move!

    Jasmine / http://www.jasminekeclipse.com

    Reply
  10. Lisa (@blm03)

    I can’t even think that far ahead yet. LOL My oldest is only in middleschool but it sounds like you have a great plan!

    Reply
  11. Liz Mays

    I think it’s super cool that you’re think of making a big move. It’s sad seeing the kids head off on their own but it does open up some opportunities.

    Reply
  12. Brandy

    I can imagine, my first born is a freshman and I am like OMGosh she will be an adult in just FOUR years. Craziness. Time certainly does fly, I won’t have an empty nest though because I have two younger kiddos.

    Reply
  13. Jeannette

    I have a long ways to go before I get there and honestly I am in no rush. I enjoy having my child in the house I don’t know how well I’m going to do without him here LOL.

    Reply
  14. rosepetalsinthesea

    I can easily imagine how it must be feel! Even though my oldest child is 10 years old, I’m dreading the day that he’ll venture out on his own. – HilLesha

    Reply
  15. Robin Rue

    I am nowhere near this phase but I dream of the day. Is that bad?! I love my boys to death but I have always wondered about what it would be like to be older and wiser with the house free of kids.

    Reply
    1. Jacqui S (Post author)

      Not at all! I love my daughter to pieces. But, for myself, I moved from my parents home to my boyfriend, later husbands home. We got our own home and had a child. For the past 12 years, I’ve supported myself, but, have had my daughter with me during my time with her. I wouldn’t change it for the world! However, with that said? I can’t wait to see who I am without all that responsibility! I’ve been a daughter, girlfriend, wife and mother. Ummm, WHO AM I? What do I like to do that isn’t associated with my child?

      So, yes, I totally understand how you feel! LOL.

      Reply
  16. Chubskulit Rose

    O always asked my husband what are we goijng to do once the kids have move out? I don’t know how to deal with that situation.

    Reply
  17. Bonnie Gowen

    I wont’ be an empty nester for another 15 years or so, ugh lol. My oldest is a junior this year though and it will feel so weird when she is out on her own.

    Reply
  18. Michelle Cantu (@AThriftyDiva)

    We talk about “once the kids are gone” all the time. It makes me so sad to think about it, but I know to try and savor these years. We will definitely down grade our home.

    Reply
  19. Tami

    Just don’t say that you are going on a cruise. My hubby and I were making plans to go on a cruise since our kiddos were nearing the high school years. Then I turned up pregnant! LOL

    Reply
    1. Jacqui (Post author)

      OMG. Don’t jinx me! LOL. Although, at this stage in my personal life? If I got pregnant, just change my name to Mary! LOL

      Reply

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