I’ve been divorced going on 12 years now. Separated 12 1/2 years. My daughter was 3 1/2 and I was 31.
Since then, I’ve dated some. Had one relationship last almost a year and then dated some more. To be honest? I haven’t had a date in quite awhile. At first it was due to me getting laid off from my job and trying to start a freelance business. I didn’t feel I had anything to bring to the table. Then it was because I had gained all of my weight back, plus some. I wasn’t happy with myself, so how could I be happy trying to be with someone else? Now? Well, it’s various reasons. One, I moved to a new city and I don’t know anyone. Two, I’m still trying to find me. I don’t know what I want out of life, so how do I expect to know what I want in a man?
I wonder if the truth could be something quite different. Could I be too set in my ways? I can’t stand not having my time to myself. I don’t like having to explain myself to anyone, why would I want to get into a relationship where I would feel the need to do so? I mean, it has been TWELVE years since I’ve lived with another person other than my daughter. And for the most part, she’s not too demanding. I do things I want, or I don’t do anything at all.
With all that said, while I know I can survive on my own. I can support myself and my daughter. I am a very independent woman. I can honestly say, I miss the companionship. I have friends and family that I can talk to and share things with. And I do all that! But, I miss having someone at home who cares about how my day went. We all know how teens are. They don’t give a hoot. I talk some to my daughter and her eyes glaze over. I miss having someone I can witch to, and know they are honestly listening. I want to have someone there that I can share my dreams with. Someone who will share my “flights of fancy” with. Someone who would keep me grounded while letting me soar. Someone to have a coffee or a drink with. Someone to rub or scratch my back when I need it.
I’d love to have someone back in my life who feels the same way. Someone who wants to talk about their day. Someone to complain to. Someone who wants someone to share their dreams with. Someone to share a Saturday morning at the local coffee shop with, or a Friday night out dancing.
But, they would have to be independent enough to know I’m not pushing them away when I don’t want to be attached to them 24/7. That we can merge our lives together, but still have our own interests.
Am I asking too much?
Heck, it’s been so long since I’ve dated, I don’t even know HOW to date lol. How does a woman date in her 40’s? Unfortunately, this isn’t a how to blog post. Because, well… I’m not dating! So, I can’t give tips! I’d actually love to hear others thoughts about how to get back into dating after being single for so long! Please share your thoughts, ideas and tips with me. Help me get myself back out there!