Flights of Fancy Mom

I'm a mom with dreams.  I want to live my life with no boundaries.  One day at a time.

It’s The Village – It’s Not You

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It’s the Village – It’s not YOU. I struggle each time I start a post on this topic. I then delete it because I feel that I can’t do it justice. Why? Because I am not a member. I am a visitor of a member. What community am I referring to? Our LGBTQ+ community. I feel that I can’t do this post justice because I don’t understand the struggle. Don’t understand the emotions this community goes through when they are turned against by their fellow humans. That’s what we are, right? We are all humans. So, I am going to speak as the mother of a member of the LGBTQ+ community.

The Village

See, I recently found out that I have a son. For the past 16 years, I believed I had a daughter. When my son told me who he really was, my heart stopped. But, my heart didn’t stop because I now have a son. My heart stopped because of fear. Fear for what he will have to face. Read his journey. There are many people who are judgmental and fearful of what is different from them. These people lash out when they’re scared. It’s the village.

I am not saying they don’t have the right to their opinions. Everyone has that God given right. We are entitled to believe what we want to believe. However, what isn’t right? Is forcing others into your box. Life is a lot like Earth. It’s round. There are no corners to slam into when you go too far out of your comfort zone. You are free to soar the boundaries and beyond. But those who are fearful of leaving their comfort zones prefer to have order and to see what is coming. This is what I refer to as their box. Is it wrong? No. Some are just more comfortable and happier this way and that IS ok.

In a recent Gallup article from Gary Gates, 10 million Americans identify as LGBTQ in 2016. That is 4.1 percent of our population. And that is just America. Highlights from that article:

  • 10 million American adults identify as LGBT (4.1%)
  • LGBT millennials up from 5.8% in 2012 to 7.3% in 2016
  • LGBT identification higher among women

Of course, this is only statistics based on those who answered. Who knows what it would be if everyone in the country took this survey. I’m guessing a minimum of 15% – 20%.

With all that said, I feel that we are failing this population of our country. Even in the 21st century, there is so much judgment and recrimination against those who are out and proud. For the most part, this group of humans wants to live and let live. They want to be happy and accepted by their fellow humans. See, they have the same body parts we do. They have hearts that hurt and can be broken. They shed tears like the rest of us.

The Village

And I believe quite a few tears were shed when they felt they were betrayed by their country last week. Our government recommended putting a ban on our military personnel because of their gender identity. President Trump announced this abruptly to “resolve a quietly brewing fight on Capitol Hill over whether taxpayer money should pay for gender transition and hormone therapy for transgender service members.” As quoted from The New York Times. This is up to 15,000 service members that are affected.

Now, don’t get me wrong, this is NOT a political post. This is a post about Human Rights and the right to live as we choose to. But, one point I will make is, if the transgender community is banned from serving our country, what about our inmates? If the government is trying to save money, why start with those serving our country? I’m not saying we should be taking this given right to live our lives as WE see fit, but why is one group being targeted? What will happen to those who serve in other departments of our government? And discrimination is against federal laws? Again, it’s the village. Even if the village is our government. I love that this Dr is going to do transitional surgery at no cost for our military personnel.

The Village

My son has many friends within this community. They lean on one another in times they feel there is no one else in their corner. One particular friend, I am going to give a shout out to is Wrabel. He is a singer that I’ve grown to love listening to. I admit, it’s not my normal music, but after meeting him at one of his concerts and learning that his song, The Village, came about due to two of his biggest supporters made me love him even more for the person he is. For the heart he has, that beats for the entire community. He speaks up the way he can. In song.

The Village is a song speaking out to the community in support and recognition that they are the minority. They need to know they are loved and supported. Here is the video. It’s such a powerful message and I freely admit that I cry each time I listen to it.

So, if you are a member of the LGBTQ+ community, know that there are more people out there that support and love you. Even if they can’t speak out in fear of recrimination. I am the mother of an LGBTQ+ member and I couldn’t be more proud of him. Just as I am proud of each member of this community. You face struggles that none of us will ever understand.

The Village

One thing I always tell people who say “I can’t accept this lifestyle. It goes against my religion.” is, you don’t have to accept it. No one is asking you to. But you can support the person. There is a difference between accepting and supporting. You support anyone you love. You give them encouragement to follow their dreams. How is this any different? It may not be a lifestyle you agree with or understand, but you don’t have to. It’s not your life. Someone’s lifestyle has no bearing on your life.

The Village

I have friends who are religious who may not understand my son’s lifestyle, but that does not stop them from asking me how my son is doing. That’s right. How my SON is doing. Because they love him. Therefore they support him. And for that, I say THANK YOU. I’ve talked and cried to them about my fears for my son. They listen. when I’m done, they don’t offer suggestions because they know my fears aren’t unfounded. They listen and let me cry. Which is all I need.

I’m not posting this to start a war on those who can’t support this community. I wrote this post because I support them. I want people to see a mother’s concern for their child. A mother’s love for their child. This post is a mother’s point of view. I’m part of the village support.

24 Comments

  1. Mel

    I like that you have given statistics to go along with your post. It helps to see the numbers sometimes. Your support of your son is inspiring, and I am sure that he appreciates you!

    Reply
  2. Kimberly @ Berly's Kitchen

    It’s an interesting world that we live in. There is such a level of fear that breeds hate and the LGBT community takes the brunt of a lot of it. The village can be a wonderful safe haven for people who have nowhere else to turn. I think it’s wonderful that you are supporting your son and his decisions. It’s definitely a life-changing time for everyone.

    Reply
  3. Censie Sawyer

    Thank you for sharing your story. I agree with you on all accounts and love that you are supporting your child. It is what a mother should do. I can understand why you would be nervous sharing this but if we keep quiet, we are part of the problem.
    Censie Sawyer recently posted…Explore Spruce Saddle Adventure Zone at Snow Mountain RanchMy Profile

    Reply
  4. Holly

    I’m sure sharing your story was hard. It all boils down to a mother’s love. There’s no better thing.

    Reply
  5. Alli Smith

    You are brave to share your story! I think all people should be treated equally! There’s so much hate out there today and everyone needs to realize that we are all created equal and everyone deserves to be shown respect.

    Reply
    1. Jacqui (Post author)

      Thank you! But I truly think my son is the brave one. He is going to have to deal with issues that not many will ever understand. The video at the was written by his friend Wrabel. He found inspiration in my son and another friend who both came out as transgendered. That they were brave enough to come out at such a young age and knowing their families supported them (for the most part) made him happy to know that there are families who love for who the person is.

      Reply
  6. Candy

    They are people end of conversation. Treat everyone the same as you want to be treated

    Reply
  7. Joanna @ Everyday Made Fresh

    Even though I don’t agree with the lifestyle, I still treat everyone equally. I have several gay friends, that I love them as a person, and don’t judge them based upon their lifestyle.

    Reply
    1. Jacqui (Post author)

      Love this, and totally respect the honesty. So, thank you for that 🙂 I’ve told my brother, who doesn’t agree with the lifestyle either, that there is a difference in accepting the lifestyle and supporting the person you love who lives the lifestyle. You don’t have to agree with it, but at the end of the day, the person is the same, no matter who they identify as.

      Reply
  8. Tomi C

    When all is said and done, we are more alike than we are different. We must take better care of each other.

    Reply
  9. Jeanette

    It is always good for sharing your story. No matter what you are going through, sharing it brings out other people going through it that can either help you through it or you might help someone else.

    Reply
  10. Sarah Honey

    Love how supportive you are and that you are supporting your child no matter what. Thank you for sharing your story.

    Reply
  11. Jaime Nicole

    Thank you so much for sharing your story! Your son is very brave and you are an awesome mother. I think we could all do to try and stand in others shoes.
    Jaime Nicole recently posted…Breakfast Pops Make Mornings Fun!My Profile

    Reply
  12. Amber Myers

    I think it’s so wonderful how supportive you are. I believe in people being their authentic selves and that everyone should always be treated equally.

    Reply
  13. Sarah Bailey

    Thank you for sharing your story, what a wonderful caring person you are. I am sure it will help another who is going through a similar situation with their child.
    Sarah Bailey recently posted…Scentsy Go Portable Fragrance System – ReviewMy Profile

    Reply
  14. Liz Mays

    There’s definitely nothing wrong with being different. It’s great that your son has so many friends in the community to lean on. That’s important.

    Reply
  15. TIm B

    I don’t understand why people can be so HATEFUL of others. I try not to judge others based on who they are but rather on how they treat me. I’ve witnessed many people who have never been anything but kind and generous to me harassed and belittled with prejudice and cruelty because they don’t conform to someone else’s standards. Some of the people claiming moral superiority need to take a good look in the mirror because they really aren’t being very respectable themselves.

    Reply
  16. Kita Bryant

    I don’t necessarily feel like people fear it as much as they fear the entire topic being shoved down their throats. I am all for love because I think that’s the only way this world will ever continue to function. However, we have to remember that just because we believe that what we choose is living outside the box, it’s all about perception and others might view their ways as outside the box when you don’t. All in all, I think forcing anything on anyone no matter who they are or what they believe is wrong coming from every walk of life.

    Reply
  17. Mimi Green

    I have friends and family that do things I don’t like and or agree with. That is not for me to judge, I love them for who they are and that is that. I don’t want people telling me how to live and what is right and wrong so I’m not going to do that to others.

    As a black woman, I know what it is like to be discriminated against just for the color of my skin.
    Mimi Green recently posted…8 Technology Tips That Will Make You A Boss At Diner En BlancMy Profile

    Reply
  18. Dhemz

    I’m sure this is hard for you to accept like any mother. As a mom, all we can do is love and support our children. Thanks for sharing!

    Reply
  19. Eloise

    This post is a good one! I believe all people should be accepted and loved no matter what! I can’t stand when people look down on others like they’re better or how closed minded some can be, it’s just not right and it’s heartbreaking!
    Eloise recently posted…What Kind Of Beauty Do You Have? (Quiz)My Profile

    Reply
  20. Jilly Spellman

    I feel like everyone should be treated equally. There’s so much hate in the world and I wish people would just start to learn to love each other.

    Reply
  21. Nikki

    Very well said. It’s so sad that we live in a world where you have to be scared for your son for being himself. I really thought that society had come a long way towards being more accepting of others, but the last year alone has showed that way too many people are no more advanced in their way of thinking than we were during the Dark Ages. 🙁 I am glad your son has a supportive community that he can turn to.

    Reply
  22. Catvills

    I think there was never a rule that said, “Love your brothers and sisters, except…(fill in the blank).” Everyone deserves love and respect without being classified into some group or what nots. I understand how you feel and I can only hope that every one would just learn to stop judging and treat one one another as equals.

    Reply

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